Connecting professionals
October 2007
Does Mr Right exist?
Mr Right is a key subject for many women and an inspiration of hope
on a daily basis. Yes he may well exist, yes he is probably out there
and yes you WILL find him! Of course in all our lives we have goals,
aims, ambitions and desires small and large. It is these landmarks and
goalposts that keep us positive and busy. It is what makes us human.
In recent years the terms Mr. Right and Miss Right have become over
used and devalued. Almost as if we have a chart on our wall , an
extensive tick list, a resume of specifics that the person in question
must submit to get his foot through the door of the "potentials"
interview.
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Most of us would deny we are that bad and hope that chance will take a
hand in bringing Mr. Right to us. Yes we accept that we have a small
but insignificant "list" and yes we accept that there are some
'definites' on it which are non-negotiable, but they are fairly minor.
Or are they? The fact of the matter is that as the decades have passed
by, we have become far more sophisticated, as humans, as individuals,
as lovers and mates. We know how to orgasm, we have a good salary and
a nice home and are well educated in the ways of the world. Therefore
it is only fair that we seek someone to match, to fit in, to adapt, to
accompany, to facilitate. And there lays the issue.
The fact is that Mr. Right also has a tick list, an agenda, only a
small one of course, but a list all the same, and he is ticking off
your assets as we speak. He wants someone young, someone well
educated, someone good looking and in shape. We are indignant, how
shallow we cry. Typical man we sigh. Yet are we any better? Look at
your list and look very carefully at what or who constitutes your Mr.
Right. And then look again. Are you sure first of all that your tick
list is achievable? Yes, or are you willing to negotiate? Okay so you
are happy with your list. Then what?
 Well now, are you willing to go out and get your Mr. Right or are you
waiting for him to come to you? Many women tell me they are waiting
for Mr. Right. The word "waiting" concerns me. By waiting it means men
come to you by chance, perhaps by design and you tick off their
assets, your check them out and then cast off anyone who doesn't match
your list. Maybe you do, but remember this my friends, Mr. Right is
looking for his Miss Right? How much work have you put into being Miss
Right or should he accept you as you are and fit in around you? If he
did slot in to your life would he really be Mr. Right or an
accouterment, an asset, a trinket that you would get bored of?
The thing we are asked by eligible men more than anything these days
is, "where have all the nice girls gone". Think about those words
carefully. These men are not asking where the doormats went, the punch
bags, the housewife slaves. Not at all. No what they are asking is
where all the women went who don't have a huge checklist as long as
their admittedly muscular arms. Most men simply want someone to love,
someone who they can dote on in their own ways and who they can feel
special and share with. The problem for them is that they are not
finding it because they are constantly under 'resume-pressure'. They
are told they must adapt and fit in, they are trying to fulfill their
part of the list bargain and then they are faced with the Miss Rights
out there.
As a potential Miss Right you owe it to yourself to complete a few
tasks. Take a long hard look at your list and ask yourself exactly how
flexible you are being. Secondly look at who your Mr. Right is and how
truthfully obtainable they are. Thirdly, don't kid yourself about your
own potentials but don't compromise on ideals either. Fourthly, bring
yourself out into the open and go after your Mr. Right.
Don't play the waiting game because you do not want to spend the rest
of your life knowing your Mr. Perfect is married to someone else when
he could have been yours. And finally, compromise is the key in
reality, for all the things Mr. right must be, try and balance that
with attempting to be something your Mr. Right doesn't want to miss.
Have a VIBRANT month!
From the Vibrance Girls, Katy and Maya
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