Home > April
2007 > Connecting professionals: First date dos and don'ts
Connecting professionals
April 2007
First date dos and don'ts
First dates can be daunting, but they don't need to be! Arm yourself
with these tips, as well as your fabulous shoes when you go on a
first date and you may even enjoy yourself!
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The Best Advice - view a first date just as an opportunity to
see if you want a second date, not to establish whether they are
someone you could spend the rest of your life with.
1. A first date stands a better chance of a follow up if you meet
for less than 90 minutes to two hours - keep it short.
2. Banish nerves by admitting to them - your date is likely to
feel the same and you'll have a laugh over it.
3. Do lots of pro-active listening. Show your appreciative attention
to what your date is saying, by repackaging and repeating interesting
points that they are making.
4. Don't talk about your ex or your therapist or wanting to start
a family.
5. Limit talk about your job or children
6. If your date is talking too much, look them in the eye, smile,
say their name, maybe touch them lightly on the forearm and say
'my turn now' in a lightly teasing but assertive manner.
7. Check you're not talking more than 50% of the time.
8. Don't drink too much.
9. Don't be disparaging especially to the waiter.
10. Offer to share the bill - he will be impressed!
11. At the end of the date, it's important to leave him wanting
more. Sex on the first date is never a good idea. If the mood takes
you both there's nothing wrong with a kiss, after all a you can
tell a lot from a man by the way he kisses and responds to being
kissed!
12. If you know you don't want to see him again, say so firmly
and diplomatically. Thank them for meeting up and wish them well.
13. If you'd like to meet up again don't be backward in coming
forward. Say you've really enjoyed meeting and suggest that maybe
you could 'give each other a call in a week or two'. Never wait
passively for your date to take the initiative. Leave the option
of calling open both ways, then, if your date doesn't phone you
can phone them. But beware of seeming too keen, this might signal
emotional neediness which is a turn-off in any language!
Wishing you lots of luscious dates!
From the Vibrance Girls, Katy and Maya
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